i need you. i need you. i need you.
i just take my ipod and listen to sounds. sit and wait.
so what that there are people around. they are just a background.
nothing makes me forget you even for a while. nothing.
just sea make me love you without dying.
My life is so bizarre. I don’t know. Everything is just too much to take in. So I take it in at one time. A tiny bit at a time. Live each day.
Last week is still in my head. I loved every second of it. All of it. Except the times when I had to go to lectures. But even those times weren’t too bad because I had something to look forward to. Like G sitting in my room by my laptop or walking somewhere in Brighton. I could just finish my lecture and go “home”. Or to meet him. My room suddenly became my home, and Brighton suddenly became my lovely town where I live. Just this simple fact that he was here made it home. And I felt like I want to live like this forever. Just carelessly be. Walk around. Eat around. Appreciate the sunset and stare at the world passing near by.
This week is completely opposite. It is passing fast, unnoticed. I just do what I have to do to get through each day. The things I do on the side seem so unimportant too. Maybe except today when after pizza me and A&D went to the sea. The sea was so powerful, the magical sound of pebbles, darkness, moon, mist, cold breeze. I could have stood there forever. Just breathing in the sea.
Friday tomorrow. Two tests. A session. This and that. Get ready. Go. Get ready, go. I don’t like this sort of routine. I need freedom. But as soon as I’m finished I’ll go to Reading. To G. Stay over for the night. Be with him for a night, then go home for Saturday then see him on Sunday. Can’t wait. Can’t wait. It feels good because I know he probably can’t wait either. We both are stuck in routines, and times when we see each other are the only happy times we get in the whole week. When we feel full. Like it’s supposed to be like that.
Carpe diem. Just because D said today: Mia you are like ‘carpe diem’.
Categories: Life · love
Tagged: brighton, Feelings, home, Life, love, routine, sea, time
