Someday you… you

My heart is open recently. I don’t mind it too much. I let everyone to give me something and I give something back. I want to just be. Not worry. Not look too far into the future. I think world shouldn’t shape people. People should shape the world. I think we should take most of every second we have with people we adore and should not do things we do not enjoy or consider useful. We should not let shit stop us from taking what we need from life. Freedom is the way forward.

I’m lost in all this world

I’m listening to Alina Orlova. I love her music. It’s like my life. So bumpy, so dynamic, intense and pretty. I can see my life going past in pictures, like in an old film. Frames. In french. So beautiful.

I saw her quite a few times in Vilnius oldtown during this week. Today even twice. Wow.

I have the pictures of the town I have taken yesterday with my old Zenit camera. I’m pleased. People said they were certainly different. Urbanized historical architecture, streets, old buildings and well, Vilnius the way I see it. I will try to take more photos from now on.

You know. I thought and thought and thought again. I think too much. I want to just enjoy it.

I realised I have never been so happy before. I’m in love, next year is going to be exciting and new, since I’m off to uni, I can listen to music I love, wear the most amazing clothes, take pictures of the cities I adore, paint and read poetry all I want. There is nothing missing in my life. Most people like me, and I love everyone. It’s too perfect to be true.

And so I have my life in my hands, just like a crystal ball, so beautiful and so fragile. The earth is spinning. Times flows like a river.

Am I happy with “myself”? Maybe. I’m ok. But I’d like to stop wondering so much if I’m worthy enough to have what I have. Just to live. Take most. Give most.

i like when people are happy. I feel a need to give something to someone. Somehow. I just don’t feel complete if I don’t spread something good.

Also i have a bad habit of over analysing things. I will try to just live. Nothing matters but this minute. Now.

And I’m free.

Switch…

Some people say I’m a conformist. Some call me dippy. I change. Is it wrong. There are many mes. And they all have something incommon. And that incommon is the real me. I don’t conform. I’m diverse. So it might seem I’m conforming. I’m an individual and it makes me sad to know that some people can’t see it.

I am a weirdo. So what? I love everyone anyway.

I’ve been dancing with myself a lot today.

Appearance matters

Appearance matters? Sadly it does. People care how other people look even more than they realise. I am quite judgemental about what other people wear. And today I realised that I need to sort out my own look.

It won’t be easy, because there is no theme in my clothes. You could easily say that they all belong to different people. What angers me the most is that I bought quite a lot stuff during past year. What was I thinking? Seriously. The only things I don’t regret getting is all the vintage dresses, because they just look amazing. Not on me though.

So I thought about it. What defines me? What are the keywords to define my personality? Water, freedom, gold, minimal, edgy, vintage, ballet, contrast, dream, light, shiny, silent, creamy.

What could I do with that now?

I guess this outfit from Reiss represents me quite well:

                   

I need some more clothes. Preferably very simple black, grey and white basics, since my wardrobe is a mess with no order right now. I also love these: