It’s the end, it’s a start

Past months have been hard. Really hard. Pressure, exams, and realisations that come when you feel the worst. World is topping up on my shoulders, and I want to start again. Get a new canvas. But no… Life is not discardable.

Summers make me uplifted. Seeing my friends happy, seeing sunshine playing in the windows.  But it’s different here: clouds, depressing wind.

I’ve been thinking about people. I need friends. That’s my conclusion. I would not be who I am without people I spend most of my time with. And yet it tires me. Last year of being on my own was much more painful, so I won’t complain. I love my friends.

Another thing. Now that I have as much free time as I like, all the self consciousness comes back. All the year I have been too busy to really think about myself and my feelings. Now it’s here again. Today I stood in front of my mirror for hours. I feel disgusted by myself and it is the worst feeling.